January 29, 2018
I know this is a bit weird but we had a very belated family holiday party yesterday and so you got a lot of belated holiday gifts to take home. This stresses me out. I basically hate having too much stuff and it seems like we always have too much stuff and I don’t know how to get rid of too much stuff so getting more stuff is just overwhelming. I guess that it’s good to get some fresh toys and pack up a bunch of other stuff that you don’t use anymore. We need to donate a box of toys ASAP. I digress. Anyways, on the way home we were talking in the car about the new things you each got and the question was raised as to which you belonged to who. Well, in our house we don’t have toys that aren’t for sharing because that just seems annoying BUT at the same time, we strongly believe that sharing is dumb. Contradictory? A bit. I’ll explain. On the one hand, I’m not buying you each your own shit. You’re too close in age to waste time, space and money on separate toy collections and I don’t think that having an abundance of stuff sends the right message about gratitude and privilege. I think that you should both be happy to have toys. Period. So we try and fill your space with thoughtful, fun things that you can use together. When I say toys you can share I mean toys that both of you can enjoy or eventually enjoy together. When I say sharing is dumb I mean that if you are playing with a toy and someone else wants it, why should you have to give it up? In what world do we do that??I’m all for learning how to take turns and enjoy things together with friends. I’m all for giving someone a toy when you have finished playing with it but I don’t think you have to give up something you are using to be kind. As an adult, I would literally never do that and furthermore, if I did, it would be of my own volition and not because someone told me to “share”. Group play is crucial to development but learning that you can’t just have something because you want it is also important.If you want to share, that’s great. It makes me really happy when my eldest hands a toy to youngest and says she wants to share but I just think it’s wrong to force it on either of them. Let them fight, let them get frustrated and let them see how good it feels to be generous and thoughtful with play on their own. Fuck telling them to share. I’ve got better things to teach. xoMom
January 19, 2018
My littlest baby is 7 months old and as the second child has yet to receive the same documentation as the first. I think that your second kid gets a lot of less. Less time with you, less time to shine but then they get a sibling which, now having watched two kids interacting, is way more valuable than being meticulously blogged about.
Anyways, I have a moment to myself today to think and marinate on my babe so I thought it fitting to document this, her 7th month here with us.
Baby, you are a delight. Having 2 kids gives some perspective and benchmarks and so I can say with confidence that you are the happiest baby ever. You delight in everything and everyone and you are easy going and sweet natured.
I have no idea what a baby your age “should” be doing and I could care less. Everything you do is done with joy and honestly, what else matters??
The best thing you currently do is laugh your tiny head off at your sister which is basically enough to make my mom heart explode. I’m a big sister so I have never had the chance to watch someone older than me in admiration but it seems like a lot of fun.
It’s been a long and very short 7 months but after the weeds of newborn-ness I feel like we are doing a lot better. It’s been fun to come out of the haze and get to know you. Your personality seems to grow every day. Now having your sister around for 2.5 years I know that she is as she was a baby – silly, funny and sensitive. Nothing has changed except how it manifests itself. I wonder if in 2 years you will still be sweet, easy going and joyful? I really hope so.
Happy 7 months, baby!
January 16, 2018
Ok, so the single most scary thing about being in Florida with you two and without your dad was the idea of flying home with both of you. Let me start by saying this: you were both a delight to fly down to Florida with BUT flying, at the best of times, is a hands- full job. With kids it’s damn near impossible to not have 4000 things in each hand at all times. You basically need a finger per item and even then… Disassembling and then folding up the stroller at the gate with a baby hanging on to you for dear life and a crying toddler who both “doesn’t want to go on an airplane” and yet can’t stop trying to run away ON TO THE AIRPLANE by herself is a job for 2.
It was so daunting in fact, that it coloured my final days of vacation (I say the word vacation loosely as I imagine vacation to be me laying down for 5 minutes with a mimosa and a book – none of which happened. Ok, fine, I’m lying. I slept a ton but what the hell else was I doing????). So the day arrived and in spite of my efforts to prepare and prepare again, I left the house without my sweatshirt – just to get things started.
But with all that being said and contrary to my wild imagination of what was going to happen, things could not have gone better. You were both total fucking pleasures to fly with and the 3 hours flew by with not one single tear shed. Naps were missed and I’m sure the cabin crew had about 700 million cheerios to clean up but my kids were happy and so I was happy and so the whole damn world should be happy.
Here were my tricks:
- Never stop eating. I fed these kids until I could feed them no more. Pouches, cookies, crackers, cheese, hummus… you name it, we ate it. If you’ve ever fed a kid you know how long and drawn out that process can be but for once, it was awesome to spend 45 minutes on a package of pretzels.
That was it. There were no apps, no TV shows, no movies, no books, no stickers, no colouring pages, no dolls, nada. I packed everything under the sun to entertain everyone and instead we just shoved our faces full of food until we landed.
Am I supermom? Well, yes but that’s another story for another time. I’m not supermom for flying with 2 kids, I’m just a mom doing the best she can with what she’s got and here are the 2 things I learned in this experience.
- There is no sense in anticipating how something is going to be. Your dad always tell me that I can’t predict the future even when I’m sure I know how something will happen – and as much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. There was no point stressing over this flight that I was certain would be a disaster because I am not a fucking psychic and I had no way of knowing anything. So why the stress?
- Even if it had gone as badly as I would have predicted – so what? How many things in our lives go awry in ways we can and can’t predict and how much of it matters. If my kids were total terrors and the 3 hours was a total nightmare – what then? Would it really matter? Would me thinking about it beforehand make a difference? Likely not so why the fuck should I care? The answer is that I shouldn’t so moving forward, I won’t.
I’m officially giving myself permission to stop giving a shit about stupid stuff and I encourage you both to do the same. There will be a zillion bad flights, a zillion good ones and everything in between and all we can do is climb on board, buckle up and try to enjoy the ride (with food).
January 4, 2018
We made it to Florida just in time to escape the winter chill of Canada but Florida didn’t get the memo to bust out the sunshine. We were greeted by our US neighbour with the worst fucking weather. Ever. I mean, it’s not Canada cold here but it sure isn’t Florida hot so good thing I brought 4000 summer clothes for everyone. Not really.
We’ve been coming to Florida for a few years now and I’ve always enjoyed it. The last time I was here my toddler was just a tiny baby so my Florida life was minimally impacted. Sure, I couldn’t sunbathe for hours but hello – who does that anymore anyways??? It’s called aging skin and those hours in the sun are just adding weeks to my wrinkles. But I shopped and ate as usual and it was relaxing.
Florida with 2 kids one of whom is a toddler isn’t relaxing. What is? Florida with shit weather is super not relaxing because spoiler alert: Florida is not geared for toddlers in crap weather. If you can’t run around outside you are limited to the following: aquarium, target, mall.
Suffice to say it hasn’t been the most stimulating few days but we’re happy to be out of the deep freeze and with family. I guess we would be doing the same thing at home but just even colder.
But I can say with confidence that should you have the privilege, don’t book Florida trips with kids if the weather isn’t awesome. The end.
January 1, 2018
It’s 2018 and I’m not even sure how that happened (says me, every year). We (Dad and I) rang in the new year brushing our teeth so suffice to say it was a bumping night. We did actually have friends over for dinner but when you have babies and a flight at 8am the next morning, a night that ends at 11:30 is more than enough.
So my resolution this year has been to write more (so it’s perfect that I’m getting to publishing my January 1st post on the 19th) and to keep the good vibes from our home in 2017 going. It was a hard year for the world as a whole but in our little insulated bubble it couldn’t have been a better one.
2017 brought me the birth of my second babe, a growing and maturing wonderful toddler and an even deeper relationship to my husband. It brought us some funny moments, professional developments and things that brought us to tears but overall I’m grateful that on this New Years, 2018 barely feels like a fresh start and more like the continuation of great momentum.
Cheers to the new year.
December 27, 2017
Ok. 2017 we get it, you suck. Specifically December. Minus a few awesome events (new friends being born and some other personal exciting things) it has been a real shit show. We haven’t had a clean bill of health over here in quite some time.
Last week your dad got strep throat – which, side-note seems fucking horrible to have as an adult, and it took him several days to recover.
We had a few days over Christmas of good old fashioned healthy kids and parents and then… I went and fell off a fucking Bosu Ball while working out and possibly broke my foot and one of you (maybe the one that’s currently obsessed with tearing off her diaper and running around naked) woke up with pink eye (surprise surprise for the kid that literally touches her butt 400 times a day).
So now we have a sore hobbling Mom who needs an X-ray, a snotty squinty little girl with giant eye boogers, a baby who needs to stay the hell away from her sister and a Dad who is back to work.
Well guys, when it rains it pours and you will see this so fully and completely in your life. Good things seem to lump together, bad things seem to lump together and it creates this feeling of ebb and flow which I guess is a huge part of life in general.
So while we ebb (or flow – whichever the shitty one is) we have to focus on the good stuff. We have to focus on having fun, taking deep breaths and knowing that this too shall pass. Eyes will be dropped and medicated and soothed. Feet will be wrapped or casted and healed. Throats will be less sore, sneezes will pass and bruises will heal and overall we can (hopefully) leave this streak of crap behind in 2018.
In the meantime, let’s keep keeping on. I’m sure the doctors office misses us after we haven’t been in a whole week.
December 26, 2017
We don’t traditionally celebrate Christmas but that doesn’t stop me from being obsessed with the idea of it. It was with a lot of snow that we welcomed Christmas 2017 and it was a really good holiday.
1. No one was sick which was a fucking miracle for this family and has since gone back to our usual everyone is sick (or injured) norm as of this morning.
2. Everyone slept. Poo. Poo. Poo.
3. We spent a lot of time together as a family, we spent a lot of time with our extended family and a lot of time with friends.
4. Your dad and I, although holed up at home with no babysitting services in sight, had some nice evenings together.
It was relaxing and quiet and snowy and fun. It felt like a true break and your dad and I felt grateful to be able to enjoy the time.
Because, (and here is the lesson I have for you today) sometimes you don’t need a whole heap of activities or plans or really anything at all to have a really good time. Sometimes it’s nice to slow down the pace, drink that second cup of coffee (just kidding, you guys obviously don’t drink coffee) and hang out.
There is something really special about taking pleasure in the little things and going at your own pace. Try and remember that next time you feel busy and overwhelmed. A Saturday at home can be as rejuvenating as a day at the spa. Almost.
In the meantime, back to our regularly scheduled shit show over here.