February 6, 2016
I love you. I love you both so much but some days I want nap time to go on forever. Today is that day. I spent this morning in the walk in clinic to get some antibiotics for my sinus and ear infection. Why a walk in? WHEN ELSE CAN I GO??? With a no-show temp nanny and a quarantine from school, I was left with little options. Your dad kindly watched you for the hour and then basically threw the baby at me when I walked in the door and ran out as fast as he could to catch up on the work he missed. Can’t begrudge him although I will.
My mom suggested I take it easy and not run around to classes. In theory, that would be an ideal situation. I could leave you guys on the floor to play and just sit for five seconds and maybe have a lukewarm tea. In practice, 5 minutes of that scenario and we had every wipe in the container strewn about the house, a cookie crumbled into the couch and the baby almost ate 3 different choking hazards and then shimmied herself under the chair. SOOOOOOO relaxing. Just like a day at the spa.
So off we ran to class #1, came home, somehow trashed the house again and then it was beloved nap time. I had dreams of a matcha latte and 10 minutes of reading but the avocado on the floor ad the applesauce in the chairs had other ideas. After cleaning them both, making dinner and having my first solo pee of the day, the baby was up from a short lived nap. I won’t lie, I was irritated. Not at her, she can’t help waking up but at the complete lack of spare time. I felt frustration running through my body and I knew it was about to eat me alive.
So I took a page from what we keep telling our kids to do and I took one long deep breath. I turned off the monitor (we have a small house so I would hear if the baby was up and actually crying vs. the noises she was just making) and I sat down in front of my computer and zoned out on FB while sipping my latte. Could baby have been making noises of frustration herself? Maybe. Am I usually over-responsive to her? Definitely. Do we all have moments where the best thing to do is regain our composure, take a deep breath and refocus? YES! Is FB a good way to do that? Debatable but I digress.
I went up 10 minutes later feeling normal and ready to face the afternoon with my two people and it went smoothly (whatever that means) because of it.
So. With that, here’s the lesson. Try to actually take those deep breaths we’ve been working on when you’re feeling frustrated (or anxious, or sad or angry). Take a moment to recenter and regroup before you move on. I promise you that there is literally nothing that can’t wait a few minutes for you to get your shit together and everyone will be better for it.
In the meantime, I’m warming up that latte again because anything a deep breath can’t fix, some tea usually can.