November 21, 2016

Dear Baby,

It’s been a while. I’ll get to the explanation of my absence in a future post but suffice to say, you’ll understand. In the meantime, you are going through quite a time right now where I would best describe you as a hot mess. 

It began with my leap alarm. Leap number 9 from Wonder Weeks alerted me that we should expect some “cranky behaviour.” TO. SAY. THE. LEAST. 

What is so shitty about you being cranky is that it is so opposite how you usually are that it feels like I am living with a different baby. You are never cranky and rarely cry so when you do, it really hits us. 

And cry you have. 

There’s been tears and so much snot. 

Because you are getting more teeth (we suspect your molars) and because you are sick and because you are just officially walking. It’s a perfect storm of wonder and a recipe for one over stimulated, sore and sad baby. 

Last night, for the first time in probably months, you were up and needing consoling for several hours of the early morning. I can’t remember the last time we had to shift work being up with you in the middle of the night. 

And if you could shove those tiny hands further into your mouth to ease your tooth pain, you would try. It’s a little bit heartbreaking to watch. 

The good news is that (minus the cold) this is all about you growing! Walking is amazing and I can’t wait for us to be able to really walk together and molars are amazing too! You can eat even more food. 

Change is often pretty uncomfortable so it’s good to try and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel- and there will always be light. Nothing is forever and like so many things in your life, this will pass and you won’t even remember the weeks that you chewed on your crib rails for relief. 

Keep growing. I’m here to help you (even at 4am)

xo

Mom

November 9, 2016

Dear Baby,

Today is a bad day. It’s a bad day to be the mother of a small, fragile and unsuspecting female. It’s a bad day to be a citizen of this world. 

We sit in the aftermath of the American election and watch the debris settle to reveal an unqualified, disgusting, racist, misogynist and hateful man beat out a talented, educated, experienced, caring and capable woman. 

There should have been no contest. 

The fact that it was and that it ended up the way it did is a profound blow to women everywhere who now see on a huge scale how far we still have to come. 

When we have talked about wage inequality or rape culture or abortion or any women’s rights this year it has been tempered by the knowledge that a woman would win the American presidential election and show us all just what women are made of. 

Her loss is our loss. It shows that men are still more powerful than women, that rape culture prevails and that you can chalk up sexually harassing or violent comments to “locker talk,” it shows that many still believe that a woman does not have the right to make decisions about her own body and that in general we don’t stand a chance against fucking pig men who spew dangerous and ludicrous shit out of their ass holes. 

In the wake, you should know this: you are never less than. You are never a second class citizen and you deserved every opportunity that you dream of for yourself- WHATEVER THAT MAY BE. From president to homemaker- the choices are yours to make freely and with a full heart. 

Don’t let this be an indicationto you of what you or we are capable of. This was a fucking embarrassing travesty and there will be a real price to pay for a collective stupidity and ignorance. 

Believe in Beyoncé. Who run the world? Girls. In due time. 

Sorry about the state of affairs that your precious little self woke up to this am. If I could protect you any more, I would. 

xo

Mom

November 7, 2016

Dear Baby,

This afternoon when Abegail (your nanny) went to grab you from your nap and brought you downstairs to see me you had a look of genuine surprise. Surprised to see mama in the kitchen? Cooking!! Real food!!!! 

That is the exact reason I have decided to go on a cooking tip and learn how to make some damn food. Because you should not be shocked to see me make something*

*obviously I know that you were not really shocked to see me cooking and that you could have been making a fart for all I know. But still, my point remains the same. 

So today I tried a couple of dishes from my moms fan favourite cookbook, Heart Smart by Bonnie Stern. As usual I decided to not just do one small thing but a lot of big things so suffice to say it was a several hot endeavour. 

I made a soup (well I actually had made a soup last night that turned out so well that I made some more to add to it since we ate most of it for dinner yesterday) and it was a pretty easy/ fool proof soup that was fucking delicious. You bought it was so delicious until you didn’t and then decided to fling your hands on horror at the spoon as if I was feeding you rusty razors instead of fucking awesome lentil soup. I’ll try not to take it personally. 

Then I made a meatloaf. A chicken meatloaf. It came out kind of weird and had a consistency more similar to stuffing than meatloafs I have had before but who the fuck knows. It could have just as well been perfect. Unsure. It tasted pretty good and your great grandmother who eats nothing liked it so that’s something. 

I cut up sweet potato to roast but minus the knife, you could basically do that so I can’t really take a lot of credit for that. 

Finally, and most awesomely, I made a crisp. It was the fucking bomb. I’m sorry that we ate it all because I’m sure you would have lost your mind for it. Mind you, you lose your mind for applesauce so do you need crisp? Probs not. Save that sugar for the grown ups who also don’t need it. 

Will you remember me as the chef of the house when you are grown up? I doubt it but if you even had one thing (not including eggs or kraft dinner) that you are all like, oh my mom makes the best _____, I will keep trying out random recipes until the cows come home. 

Oh, and here’s a lesson: when your dad (who IS the chef of the house) asks you if you want to learn how to make something, say yes. Learning to cook while a tiny little peanut face is begging you to come play robot is NOT FUN. I’d always rather play robot. 

xo

Mom

November 4, 2016

Dear Baby,

One thing I have been dreading is the day that I have been told is inevitable where you will fall in love with dad and mom will be an afterthought. Mom’s of little girls have told me to beware and beware I have. 

This is why I can’t help but take emence pleasure in your recent obsession with “mama.”

Fact: I think you just like saying the word. 

Fiction: I hear you say “mama” and I assume you want me and only me to do everything with and for you and that you hail me as your one and only. 

Delusional? Maybe. Hopeful? Definitely. 

Because Baby, your love and adoration is all I can ask for. I birthed you, raised you and fed you and now to hear those sweet 2 syllables with the offering of a juicy kiss is the greatest thank you ever. 

Please like me for always. I will try so hard to be the awesome mom you want but if I fail, give me some slack. I can’t even fucking express enough how much I want us to just be happy and love each other the way we do right now forever. 

But also, can you stay as amazingly cute and precious? That will help.

Let’s freeze time, ok?

Seriously. Be nice to your “mama” because she loves you like no one in the world can. 

That is all. 

xo

Mama

November 1, 2016

Well, the time has come and we are here at the point of your new one nap life. I can hardly complain as this came about because you were sleeping in too late every morning to have a proper morning nap. No parent can complain about a kid that sleeps in. 

No parent can complain when sleep in means 8:30-9am. Ok, unicorn baby. You win. You’re awesome. 

So new life is a crazy every day sleep in and then a full fun morning together with a long afternoon nap. This is life I can get behind. 

Not only do I sleep more than a teenager, I also get SO MUCH time to spend with you which is just my favourite thing in the entire planet. Winning. 

Baby, like your parents and some grandparents, I hope you always sleep as gorgeously as you do now. The ability to sleep is a fucking superpower and you should be thrilled that you got it. Better than x-ray vision? I should say so. 

So sweet dreams my little baby. We have a big full day again tomorrow so rest up. 

xo

Mom