April 26, 2018

Dear Babies,

I’m an asshole. Every time I promise myself and this blog some more consistency, I go and fuck off for like, a month straight leaving you in the lurch. You might be wondering such things as: what’s going on with me? what’s happening in our lives right now? How can you possibly be expected to keep up with yourself if I don’t tell you anything???

And isn’t that a perfect intro to the theme of our life right now – the “why” times. Why is the sky blue? Why do I have to wear a jacket and why don’t babies come out of daddies penis (and yes, you actually asked me that question this morning over cereal).

Why? Well, truth be told kid, I have no fucking clue. For the most part your “why” questions are hard and give me pause to come up with a semblance of a proper answer. I mean, why don’t babies come out of penises? It’s a question I ask myself regularly as I struggle with peeing a little when I jump too hard post-baby. Why do you have to wear a jacket? You’re a human being who can make decisions so I don’t have a real answer for that. Because it’s cold?

But more than stumping me daily with your questions, you really just amaze me with your curiosity. Like a tiny pint sized sponge, you suck up every little thing. Say a word, any word and you will be on it like a hawk (which is why you describe the smell of your poos as “shit.” Yup kid, your poo does smell like shit indeed). Yesterday morning when I was frustrated about opening a jar and sighed in dismay you said “oh for fuck sake, mommy” – ok? FOR FUCK SAKE. I know I’m harping on the swear words but it’s more like anything I say becomes your new vocab and it is v. impressive.

And yes, so you know, the “why” is annoying. Why do I have to eat my breakfast? Why do we have to get dressed? Why are you going to the bathroom? Why does my sister need a nap? Why can’t I come in and talk while you put her to bed? Why am I home alone today with 2 sick kids who won’t stop asking me questions about every single thing? Who knows. Life is weird.

But the lesson to impart today is this: ask those questions. Say “why” to everything and keep that little brain growing and learning. Your desire to know more and soak up the information and world around you is a beautiful thing and your mind is a beautiful growing garden. Don’t let my tiny stints of irritability or annoyance at your consistent questioning deter you from seeking the truth – your truth.

In the meantime, if you’re ever curious about what having a toddler is like, ask yourself “why” 6500000 times then kick yourself in the shin, give yourself a big sloppy kiss and say “I love you” and you’ve just about got it.

xo

Mom