April 30, 2018

Dear Babies,

Well, it’s official. We have sold our home after a month long fling with the real estate market, buying a new home and listing our current one it’s suffice to say that I am happy to delete MLS from my browser for eternity. (Obviously kidding because I’ve already been on it today – just for shits and giggles).

It’s been a true emotional rollercoaster and even though I am traditionally a fan of rides, I was NOT a fan of this one. The angst of bidding on a house, the ambiguity of numbers surrounding the sale and purchase of a house, the unknown of listing a house and the turmoil of knowing that strangers are rifling through my motherfucking closets is just about enough to tip me right over the edge.

Are these first world problems? Yes. Do they still prevent me from a solid 2 weeks of quality sleep? Also, yes.

We spent 2.5 weeks living with my in laws while we cleaned, emptied and listed our house. We stayed away from open houses held in our home and tried hard not to die a little inside when we heard feedback like, your kitchen is too small. It’s amazing how attached you can get to an inanimate thing like a house. Like, fuck you my kitchen is too small. The irony (or whatever it is) about it all is that I am the single most critical person in the world when we were looking at houses. I’d be like, oh it’s a nice house but what a hideous carpet. Well, I’m sorry now. Sorry for calling your stair runner “awful” – I know how it feels.

Being away from home at my in-laws is kind of like a vacation but like any good vaca, you do long for the home you know so we were thrilled about seeing the house and getting to come back. And of course, the money aspect.

And now here I sit at our living room table where I have spent many an afternoon waiting for you guys to wake up from nap thinking about how weird it will be that in the very near future, this won’t be my afternoon location. I will be in a new space with new lights and new chairs making new memories and the ones of this house will fade away.

You guys will never remember a home that has had so many momentous moments happen in its walls. You’ll never know the first room you slept in as babies, the way the halls creaked and you had to walk just so to avoid waking you while you slept. The way the bathroom looked before we redid it and that clawfoot tub that was so charming when we first saw it and became the source of my nightly misery 3 years into showering in it. By the way, if you have ever wondered what it might feel like to shower in a condom, you should get a clawfoot tub.

So I’m trying hard to take some mental pictures and also real ones to show you what this home looked like. I hope to share a million stories about us here as you grow up. And I’m trying to chill the fuck out and not become a sentimental mess because the fact is that you will remember our next home and there’s a good chance it will be our forever home so at least we will all have early and great memories to make there.

What I can say about all this nostalgia is going to make you barf but it’s this: home is where you guys are and that’s something to remember wherever you end up in the world (hopefully next door to me). These walls and doors and ceilings and floors are just things and the real memories we have and shared experiences we have collected are all about the 4 (5 if we count the dog) of us have made together. We might not remember what the hall looked like that you first walked down but we are sure to remember the first time you walked.

So if home is truly where the heart is then take this heart and get it into our awesome new space and let’s make ourselves a new home. I’m sure it won’t be stressful at all…

xo

Mom