December 11, 2017
Last night your dad and I were doing the old wrangle-up-kids-for-bed dance. It’s the same routine every night: Mom feeds baby and usually puts baby to bed, Dad bathes you both and then begins bedtime for toddler and then we usually share putting toddler down to bed.
For the past few nights you have been asking specifically for Mom and here’s my truth: I love it. It makes me feel loved and wanted and there is nothing that makes my day more complete than ending it with story and song time. So suffice to say that when you ask for me, I say yes.
Last night your dad was missing you and really wanted to do bedtime (which he did) but you had asked for Mom so we had a mini argument over what we do in that situation.
I feel like it’s important to give you the one-on-one time with the parent you request if possible, your dad feels like you are always happy with whoever is there and we can’t give a yes to every single thing you ask for.
I mean, I’m obviously right here but whatever. Last night worked in his favour because your sister took a bit longer to get to sleep so by the time I was ready for you, you were more than halfway through songs and stories with Dad.
But I really do feel like we should be respecting your wishes and that giving you the parent of your choice for bedtime isn’t giving you everything you want. It’s just one thing that we do.
Even if it’s not bedtime and it’s morning. Even if your dad goes upstairs to get ready right at crunch time leaving Mom to be the one to have to hustle you through breakfast. Even if Mom gets impatient because it’s 10 minutes to school time and we are all in our pjs still. Even when mom’s hustling gets irritated. Even when she feels really bad for being so irritable. Even when you then ask for Dad to take you to school. Even when you cry when you hear Mom is taking you and it breaks my fucking heart.
I think that respecting people’s individual wants and needs in spite of your own bias is a really important thing to learn. It’s hard and it’s not always as self serving as we would want it to be but we are all unique and have unique wants and needs and they should all be heard.
Even when they are opposite of what I want.
In the meantime, please let me take you to school next time. Or at least don’t forget about me at bedtime.