Free falling

December 18, 2017

Dear Babies,

Ok, 3 things to discuss today and the first is that it is Baby’s 6 month birthday today. Woah. Time. Slow. Down. I still feel like it was only yesterday that I gave birth but her rapid growth would suggest otherwise. At 6 months I can report with confidence that you, Baby, are happy. You literally wake up and go to bed smiling. Waking makes you happy, sleeping makes you happy, eating makes you happy and I make you happy and in fact, the only thing that doesn’t make you happy is a) being away from me and b) falling in the snow (more on that in a second…). Today I asked your dad if your cry sounded weird and his answer was “I don’t even really know what her cry sounds like” – that’s how much you cry.

You don’t seem to care for food but more for the table chills that you like to be a part of, you enjoy activities such as rolling on the floor and trying to crawl, you sit, you play with this cool sensory rattle that we have and you overall are just pretty amazing. If I’m being super honest, I think our falling in love process took longer than I expected it to but I am literally obsessed with you and even just writing about you makes me want to go into your room where you are sleeping, scoop you up and give you a million kisses – although I won’t because, sleep.

So it is with a heavy heart that I report on today’s mishap. I took you to the passport office to get your passport done (which is already the most annoying chore) and of course, forgot a document so I had to leave and come back (which was an even more annoying chore) and we were walking back to the car. I was wearing you in a carrier and it was, to say it nicely,  a totally shit day. I lost my footing and slipped on a slush pile and fell. hard. real hard. I fucking fell and took you down with me, Baby and it was the scariest thing that has happened to me in a long time. Yes, my knee immediately blew up to the size of an elephant knee and turned an odd shade of blue but moreover, you were within one inch of smashing your head into the pavement and for that I am traumatized.

You ended up being fine but had me scared all day. I often play out horrible scenarios of bad things that could happen in my head (and don’t pretend you don’t do that too – k?) but never had I ever pictured falling on and almost crushing my baby. I’ll be adding that to the ongoing list of shit that makes me never want to leave the house or let you guys leave the house ever.

But my real point of contention with today was the man who was standing outside the building where I fell smoking a cigarette and doing NOTHING to help. Ok fine, people are shitty and kindness to one’s neighbour may be a thing of the past (although not to everyone) BUT I would think that it would be just a basic human thing to go check on a woman and a baby who take a nasty fall (and an audible one, I sure screamed my head off when it happened). RIGHT??????

Like, WTF!!! What could this guy have been thinking?

The only thing he even said in acknowledgment was “take it slow now, no need to rush anywhere” UM THANK YOU ASSHOLE BUT I WASN’T EVEN MOVING FAST TO BEGIN WITH. I mean, come on. I think that it really struck me how selfish and self absorbed people are these days and how little humanity there is sometimes.

So my lesson to you guys today is BE KIND. Smile at people, hold open doors and for gosh sakes, if you see someone fuck up their knee on a slushy sidewalk, go ask if they are ok.

In the meantime, I ordered myself a pair of WAY TOO expensive winter boots with super traction and I plan to never leave my house again until spring. Who’s with me?



Free falling

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