December 8, 2017
This morning was not my finest parenting. I picked you, my eldest, up from a class and the mission was to walk 3 blocks to the car stopping only once for a croissant. What. A. Flop.
I don’t know why I was so impatient – maybe it was the baby not sleeping or my blocked duct boob pain (more on that later) but I was at maybe a 10% level of tolerance so when you started dragging your little feet on the skateboard attachment of the stroller, I lost my mind.
And of course, me being upset made you more upset and then one thing led to another and I was basically dragging you down the street to the car while you tried to kick me. It was messy and it was chaos and I was pissed and you were pissed and the whole thing sucked.
Because the truth is what the fuck do I care if we take an hour to walk to the car? If you want to dangle your feet, why does that bother me? Oh, you ruin your boots? Big deal. You’re two.
I hate rushing you, I hate getting annoyed at you and I feel ashamed that I let a nothing situation escalate. But I’m not perfect. Far from it.
I try really really hard to show you kindness and to see the world through your curious, impatient and free eyes but sometimes I fail and I’m sorry.
I think and I hope that the lesson here is that sometime you slip up and mistakes happen all the time but it’s important to recover and regroup. If you’re intention is honest and you try to do good, a few bad choices can’t hold you down.
Also learn the art of an apology. I’m going to tell you how sorry I am for losing my cool on you when you wake up from nap and I hope this encourages you to always own up to your own mistakes and seek to make things right as you inevitably fuck up in the future.
In the meantime, a few calming breaths later and I am anxiously awaiting you to wake up so we can get back to our regular scheduled awesomeness.