March 5, 2017

Dear Baby,

So after 2 long days we have officially packed up and moved out of the house for a month to wait out the renovation we are doing to our basement and bathrooms. We are pretty pumped. Our house is old and all rooms receiving a much needed facelift are gross. The bathroom is basically falling apart and we have this crazy claw foot tub (that’s on its way out) that I fucking hate. Like, you see this claw foot tub and you are all like, wow- so nice. When we first saw this bathroom, we loved it. Shower in that tub for a month and you will change your tune fast.

When you have a claw foot tub, you need a shower curtain that wraps around the whole tub. That means that you are basically showering inside a giant condom. It’s that sexy. It’s horrible. The good news: that claw foot tub will become an herb garden once they take it out of the bathroom. Condom shower be gone.

So here’s the thing about moving out- we realized that despite not being hoarders, we are total fucking hoarders and there is too much shit in our house. I’m all motivated by minimalism to get rid of stuff so I was thrilled to throw out items found at home such as:

Moss in a bag (yes, a whole bag of green moss), baseball gloves (no one in our house plays baseball), a C-cup bra (ok, really?) and about 7000 DVDs (hello, the 2000’s called and they would like their DVD collection back- pretty sure we don’t even own a DVD player.)

It would be embarrassing except that I’m pretty sure this is everyone’s situation- unless you religiously adhere to minimalism – which isn’t something that seems super unappealing after uncovering all this shit

It’s also a lot of your stuff that is taking up space and room. Along side our awesome bag-o-moss we have cars and houses and dolls and blocks in a variety of rainbow colours that take up a huge amount of space which makes your dad’s argument for not buying you more stuff all the time seem somewhat more reasonable though I maintain that you NEEDED the life sized VW tent.

But, here’e the thing: you should do your best to throw stuff out or not buy stupid stuff in the first place if you can. It’s a really hard preach to practice but it would have been so much easier to clean up one floor of our home if we had just gotten rid of things that we were finished with when we were done with them. Didn’t really need to pack a whole tupperware full of old computers now did we? Could have disposed of each at the end of their life cycles and then not had a whole fucking mountain of them.

There is this whole thing about only keeping things that make you happy and serve a purpose and I think they are on to something. I want you to grow up surrounded by things that make you and us happy and without clutter and crap. Not only does it dampen the vibes of a clean and happy home but almost always, someone else could love and use the thing you no longer can so you get to spread the joy around.

I vow to make a better effort to keep our shit clean and not have things we don’t need (although I reserve the right to define “need” a la the VW tent) and I really hope this kind of thinking rubs off on you.

In the meantime, we have a month of total displacement living at your grandparents house while they make us some new and pretty rooms which won’t make our house seem bigger but will hopefully make it more functional to live in.

xo

Mom