February 14, 2017
Valentines Day is upon us. Like I needed another excuse to shower you with love. Sorry about being a smothering mother but, you are stuck with me. On this day of love I am reminded of how much I love my little family but also of all the other love around us. You are kind of stuck with your family, more or less and for me- that’s great because they are great but there is also the family you chose, and that’s pretty great too.
The family we have chosen is fucking awesome and it makes those less awesome people around us seem pretty insignificant. The family we have chosen are a select group of people who love you and value you and make you a priority in their lives. Nothing is more apparent when you become a parent than how precious time is. Gone is my leisure time to be in touch with people that I only semi give a fuck about. Gone is the extra fucks to give about anyone who doesn’t brig something awesome to our table and gone is my guilt about any of it (most of the time.)
In my life, I’ve worked on and kept a lot of relationships because of history, because of obligation, because of expectations and now- no more. When I have the time to connect, it has to be meaningful and important. This isn’t to say that every encounter must have deep conversation or life changing conclusions but more that we just connect. I’m sad to say how many people who are close to us know so little about you and I right now but delighted to tell you how many other people know so much about us- like, everything about us. The family you choose.
And I think along the way, you’ll start to see what matters when you connect with people. You will learn the pressures of obligatory relationships that you have to have and incredible ones that you want to have and how to navigate both. There will always be people around you who don’t bring a ton to your table but even a shitty dessert is something- not everyone can bring the winning pie- know what I mean?
But always remember that you get to choose how and who you love and if you are lucky, it will be reciprocal. Don’t worry if on Valentine’s Day you have a partner or a date- just thank cupid that you have love in your life- which I hope you always do, and a family you have chosen to support and love you.
And I will ALWAYS be your valentine- ug, lame Mom! Too bad, kiddo.