January 11, 2017

Dear Baby,

Now here this. My contract is over and I am officially back to being your mom who works at home, never wears makeup on a weekday and has “fancy” sweatpants. It’s good to be back. Now also hear this. For a very long time I scoffed at a stay at home mom or homemaker. What would she do to fill her time? How would she feel valuable. “Not for me,” I said haughtily. Well, this is something I know for sure. It’s all fucking hard.

It’s hard to be away working trying to organize life from afar- coordinating schedules, daycares or caregivers, meals and life and it is hard to be at home all day entertaining a toddler while still coordinating all those things.

It’s all hard because… spoiler alert: being an adult is fucking hard.

Your dad often remarks that working from home is like having the best of everything. He is not wrong, totally. In a lot of ways, it is. I have the flexibility to be with you without putting aside a fulfilling career, I can be mom and lady boss all in one day- it’s just that sometimes I feel like something is always giving. A busy day with you often means little work gets done. A heavy work day means no time to get food and a day filled with errands that have to get done means no time for anything. It’s a constant juggling act.

But my point isn’t that my work/life situation is better or worse than anything else more that it is all hard. No matter what you do and no matter what you think about what you do and no matter how someone else’s life seems, we are all struggling, it is all a fine balancing act and adulting is hard work.

So I’m happy to be back because it gives me some great perspective on being even more non-judgmental to all the moms out there just making it work- whatever way it works.

And obvs happy to be back with you. We did a new class today and I almost ate your face from cuteness. Is it weird how much I always want to eat you up? Maybe.

xo

Mom