September 17, 2016

Dear Baby,

I could go and list another one of your amazing qualities tonight and sing your praises but Baby, you are going to be spoiled with a life of your mom being your number one cheerleader. 

Instead, I wanted to tell you about a year ago today. I was in labor, ready to claw out someone’s eyes in pain and you Baby, were making the process a bit difficult and chaotic- as you would continue to do from that moment on. 

The pain, the scar, the aftermath, the sleepless night and nights to follow, the tears, the longest days and the longer nights were all worth it. 

The truth is that when I look back now only one year later I can’t eve remember ever being tired or in pain or frustrated or sad. I don’t remember hating your dad, maybe hating you a little bit or the feeling of having a complete tiny stranger invading my life. I don’t remember the feeling of being lost and having no idea who I was. 

What I do remember is sleeping with your little body curled into mine, the first time you smiled at me, the first time you rolled over and we thought it was the greatest thing ever. The first time you let out a hearty laugh. 

I remember you toothless grin, the first time you got sick and the feeling that I would have cut off my arm to make you feel better. The first time you gave me a kiss. The moments in classes where I saw pure delight in your eyes. 

I remember the swings that made you shriek with happiness, our vacations and those times when I got to witness first- hand your process of learning a new skill. 

I remember how proud of yourself you have been when you master something new. How much we laugh together. How fucking happy you make us and how I have never felt more full and complete as a person as I do now. 

This year has flown by and for all the lessons I hope you learn, today is not the day to teach. It is a day to love and cherish and reflect on the greatest 365 days that ever was. 

I love you, Baby. 

xo

Mom