June 13, 2016

Dear Baby,

Being a mom means that you get to obsess over the stupidest shit like naps. How long, how often, where and why. Each day is filled with me thinking about naps. You don’t give any fucks at all because you either nap or not but there I am wondering if perhaps a short sleeve onesie would help create a more optimal sleep space for you. I think this is why all mothers are insane. 

So with that, one thing that has been going on for many months now- at least since you were about 5 months old is that we stopped napping on the go. Napping on the go means you hunker down and nap wherever we are in your stroller. You used to be a pro at it. I could spend a whole day out and you would just fall asleep wherever and whenever. 

I don’t know what happened that made me stop taking you out. I guess it was that you had such amazing long stretches of sleep if we were at home in our ideal setting. Once you see how well someone can sleep it seems cruel to force them to do anything else. 

Trust me, if there was a way I could nap as hard as you do and someone would dress me in perfectly temperature considered clothing, wrap me in a little blanket, read me a soothing story and then rock me every day I would also rebel against putting myself to sleep sitting upright in a moving chair. I get it. 

Anyways, it’s working for us, it’s working for us and then it’s also not. I’m stuck at home a lot now. I can’t run errands and I can’t go anywhere. I sit and work while you sleep twice per day. 

So we went to a friends today and she suggested something radical- a trip to Walmart. But I can’t go to Walmart, I say because Baby had to nap. She suggests a nap on the go and I nearly shit myself. TOO RADICAL, GIRL. 

Well Baby, we did it. We strollered on over to Walmart, I pumped up your sound machine and you napped the shit out of the afternoon and gave me the forgotten freedom of being out between the hours of 1-4. It was epic. 

And here is what I learned that I want to share with you- we get stuck in our habits. In the way it “should” be. We get stuck and then we get scared to try anything out of our comfort zone. Fear is a great inhibitor and comfort is a great security. If you don’t step out of the zone and try new things you might never have as good of a day as I did yesterday buying a tie dye kit for 24.99. 

It’s really important and good to push yourself and try things that scare you. You might fail but if you succeed, the benefits are incredible. 

In the meantime, tomorrow I plan to get back in bed for your first nap and not be ambitious at all- balance Baby, it’s all about balance. 

xo

Mom