May 20, 2016

Dear Baby,

This morning after a great sleep we woke up and went about our regular morning routine. I nurse you, take off your sleep sack and change your diaper before we head downstairs.

Like most mornings you had a nice saucy poo in your diaper. No problem. I got some of it on my finger, wiped it off and went about my business. No problem.

Here’s the thing: that’s fucking weird and gross. How casual I am about having your POO IN MY HAND is really quite astounding.

You’d be all like, Mom- you have to pick up a dog’s poo all the time and baby poo is hardly poo at all. You’d be right but still…

Then I thought about how many times in 8 months I have had poo on me. I can’t count it on both hands. Side note to new mamas: get used to poo, it is a part of your life now. Just one of the more glamorous parts of having a baby.

Anyways, on a somewhat related note, your dad mandolin-ed off a chunk of his finger this week and we had to really bandage that shit up. It was totally gross. I personally found and removed the finger chunk from the mandolin. I cant even.

What am I even bringing the mandolin incident into a post about poo about?

Have some patience, Baby. I’m getting to the point.

Get used to gross human things because they are unavoidable and totally normal. It’s just so lame to be one of those people who can’t deal with body functions and you are way cooler than that. When an emergency strikes (or a poo explosion) you want to be able to jump in and help, not run and barf in the corner.

And honestly, we all have blood, barf, mucus and poo. It’s not that bad. I not saying you should seek out people barfing and just run on in but you will be well served if you keep your squeamishness to super gross things and make room for an acceptance of body stuff. Because in the end. Shit happens.

In the meantime, gotta wash these hands. POOOOOOOO

xo

Mom