May 16, 2016

Dear Baby,

It should come as no surprise that I LOVE baby clothes. They are just as cute as adult clothes except in miniature making them even cuter. Sure, I love a good adult tutu but a BABY TUTU- can you EVEN!!!

So needless to say you wardrobe is full. It makes mine look sparse and even though you don’t need it, you have the fun extras like a straw fedora and converse style sneakers. Just for fun. 

So I get you lots of stuff but where I seem to draw the line is stuff that seems too adult- case in point, the pleather leggings I saw at a recent sample sale (that were a steal at $50- because that’s a normal thing to do, spend $50 on a pair of pants that are as big as your arm that your baby will wear for 5 minutes. Ok. Sure). 

I mean sure, they are cute and it’s kind of sweet to have this tiny mini me styled child complete with pleather but Baby, you will have a long time to wear pleather or leather. Skulls seem ironic and badass for a wee one but wait till your emo teens and you can rock skulls head to toe if yo want. 

And it’s not like I am pushing the other side of the coin either. The $5 “mommy thinks I’m cute” tops in bright pink make me want to puke and anything that says the word “awesome” on it can burn in hell for all I care but somewhere in the middle of death metal and daddy thinking baby is a princess is a wardrobe for for… well, a baby. 

Yes friends, there are clothes available that are both cute and cool and if you look hard (aka for 10 seconds on the Internet) you can even find them for less than a million dollars). It’s not that I don’t think fashion is valuable but when the amount of fabric used to make the item at hand is the size of a napkin, you’d best believe I will scoff at your $80 price tag- don’t care what brand it is.

(I’ll add quickly here that my personal exception to this rule is Canadian clothing companies that use organic cotton- I feel like that warrants a higher price tag, but that’s just me). 

So the lesson is, Baby: there are so many ages and so many stages to play with fashion. You will hopefully go through several styles and trends and you will nail them all. Enjoy each while you can because just as one day soon a pink frilly dress will be something you won’t wear, crop tops and blue lipstick might become something you can’t wear (mid 30’s whyyyyyyyyyy??!!)

Don’t rush to be an adult. You will have plenty of time to adult the shit out of adulting. 

In the meantime, I’m breaking out the sewing machine in the basement to make you harem pants that don’t cost four billion dollars. Fashion school has finally paid off. You’re welcome. 

xo

Mom