The Unexpected Side Effects of Having a Baby

May 14, 2016

Dear Baby,

When we had you back in September there were certain things that I was expecting (courtesy of the sometimes unsolicited advice of fellow moms and strangers) such as less sleep, bigger boobs and a newfound obsession with poo. 

There were the things that every book told you to expect, the developmental milestones and the relationship transitions. 

There was the new mess in the house that never goes away, the expense of all the gear that comes with a baby and the way every room is now decorated with rainbow crap courtesy of your playthings but here are some things that Are the surprise effects of having a baby;

1. The dishwasher is always running. Your dad and I were not big on staying home before we had you. In fact, if we ate at home twice a week we would congratulate ourselves on a week well done. When you are never home to do anything you never have dirty dishes so our cycles were once or twice a week at most. Now I run the dishwasher every damn day. We eat all meals here save a few brunches and lunches and we host all the time. Our Costco size dish detergent thing which has lasted us 2 years is finally being rapidly depleted. 

2. I clean a lot more. This might be a duh moment but since we eat at home and cook at home more, there is more to clean and with cleaning it always seems that once you start, it’s good to finish. I have cleaned my kitchen an astounding 7 times this week. 

3. All plans are manageable. Everything we do has a time limit so gone are the days of staying longer than I want to or being coerced into a long visit. Nope nope nope. We get 2 hours to do anything during the day and a few at night if we are lucky enough to get a babysitter. There is no apologies for a sleepy baby and there is no more visits that should just end already. They do. 

4. You are not just my baby. I mean, obviously you are my baby but what I mean is that you are also a source of pride and joy to your family and friends and must be shared accordingly. Spending time with people has never been a challenge for your dad and I but I find even more we are spending time with people and moreover letting them spend the time with you. I had the best relationship with my grandparents and aunt and you deserve the chance to have the same. 

5. You legit talk about poo all thenfucking time. Second to sleep, that’s what it is all about. Your dad and I begin most conversations with a debrief on your poo. Cause life is sexy. 

The lesson behind all this is that there are always going to be side effects to any choice you make and often there will be some that you never expected. That’s just the way things go. Every action has a reaction and you can’t always anticipate it. 

That should make you excited and not fearful of new things. I hope that you have a positive and welcoming attitude towards change and new experiences understanding that they will have consequences- good and bad. 

This is all a part of you being a human who constantly grows, learns and adapts. It’s the best. I promise. And we will be there all the way. 

In the meantime, got to call your dad re: morning nap poo. For real. 



The Unexpected Side Effects of Having a Baby

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s