Baby Sleep No More

April 8, 2016

Dear Baby,

We did it. I am writing this blog post from Tel Aviv, Israel. We arrived somewhat put together and mostly normal. 

I’ll be honest. I was WAY too cavalier about the flight. I was all like, not a problem. Baby will sleep in the awesome bassinet that Air Canada provides up with and I will have a deep restful sleep too with baby at my side. 

Wrong diggity wrong. 

If you are ever considering flying on a ten hour plus flight internationally, know this; it sucks. 

To start, you just didn’t want to sleep. Overstimulation is a real thing and not many things are as over stimulating as a day at the airport. 

The “bassinet” was horrendous. I use the word in quotation marks because it was honestly more of a leather restraining device than a bassinet. It was basically a thick leather pod that you would technically lay in (not moving because the was both no room to roll and if you did roll you would end up face first on elephant grey leather sides- gross). The craziest part was the “seatbelt” a word I again use in quotes because it was a full mesh flap that covered your entire leather pod and then got strapped down. 

Um. No thanks. Don’t think I am fucking strapping my baby into a tiny leather case with a mesh panel on her face. I’ll endure a full flight with you on me. Thanks. 

So that’s what happened. You slept on me for a bit. You slept on your dad for a bit. The entire religious population of our aircraft saw my nipples and of a usual 12 hour sleep, you got about 6. 

Your dad got 10 minutes and I got 30. 

Baby, in high school and university I’m sure you will pull your fair share of all nighters. I know I did. You will stay up all night and the next day will function just a fraction below normal. Your skin will be light and clear and your eyes bright with just a hint of tired. 

In your 30’s and beyond you will want to fucking die. It’s almost 8pm here now and if I am up another 30 minutes it would be a miracle. 

The thing about being older and being a parent is that it’s not like you can take time out and refresh. We arrived, got to our hotel and went straight to work unpacking you, getting your shit organized, getting you down for a nap, showering and then we blinked and it was night. 

So here’s what I can think to share with a mind foggy with the memories (nightmares) of my journey. Get one of those super lame neck pillows. I feel like that was the missing link to sleep on the plane. Nerdy? Yes. Practical? I think so. 

Alternatively, be very very rich and exclusively fly first class. 

No but seriously, don’t let this shit deter you from chasing your travelling dreams. One fucked up day is a small price to pay for getting to have such a great adventure together. 

In the meantime….zzzzzzzzz



Baby Sleep No More

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