February 23, 2016

Dear Baby,

So this past weekend I was at Costco with you and ran into this girl I knew back in high school. She just had her second baby and so we stopped to chat about you and her guy and the very first question she asked me was if I had sleep trained you. 

What. The. Fuck. 

Ok, I think it’s bad enough that I talk about sleep for 80% of my day. Do I need to get into the dirty details of it with a relative stranger? Asking about the backend to the functioning of my baby seems pretty damn personal. Also, when did sleep training become so normal that we discuss it casually over the book display at Costco. 

K. Pretty sure that sleep gets talked about so much because it is every parents biggest problem. No one spends hours talking about their kid smiling (and if they did, I would not really want to listen) but sleep is this shared challenge that every new parent goes through. There is comfort in the commiseration. 

So asking about it bold faced to someone who you don’t really know seems a bit mean. It would be like me noticing that you are struggling with acne and then just bluntly asking you how your skincare regimen is going. OBVIOUSLY NOT VERY FUCKING WELL. 

Plus, assuming that everyone sleep trains their kids is a bit ridiculous. Like, does everyone in the whole world sleep the same way? Did this girl and myself have the same night sleep? NO! So why would her kid and my kid need the same things?

Plus, if I did sleep train, again that is a personal thing. It is the logistics that go into the organization of your home life. It’s like assuming that every couple goes to therapy and then asking about it casually. Like, nice to see you, it’s been so long. Oh, your married now? Do you see a couples therapist? YOU WOULD NEVER EVER ASK THAT. LIKE, EVER. 

Know your limit and stay within it. 

Baby, whether it’s asking a new mom if she sleep trains or asking another equally stupid question, please try and have some tact. People like their privacy and you can be sure that if someone is just dying to tell you about their personal experiences, they will. 

In the meantime, keep up this epic nap you are taking on me. 

xo

Mom