January 18, 2016

Dear Baby,

What the what!! How are you 4 months old? Where is time going? How has it happened so fast and so slow???

I wanted to tell you a little bit about your 4 months here. They’ve been pretty amazing/ insane. 

Here’s a truth. I’m pretty sure that I’m just now beginning to “get” everything. I’m no longer mystified by your cry and totally dumbfounded by sleep. I know you. I know the noises you make and I know what you need at any given time. 

The fact of the matter is that there is no comparing month one to month four. I went from a bewildered insomniac to someone who can look at the slightest shift in your gaze and know that I have about 5 seconds to initiate nap sequence. 

In addition to knowing you better, I know myself better. I can see that if I haven’t slept, I need to pass you to a loving helper and GET SOME SLEEP. It’s non negotiable. I’m a terrible mom when I am sleepless. Fact. 

I also know that I’ve got this. I can do it. It’s not as overwhelming as I thought it would be and like any new job, the initial initiation phase is over. You know those first weeks of a new position when you basically have no clue what is going on and feel like you are just never going to get it and then one day you are dropping job- specific jargon like it is, well, your job. 

That’s me. One day I am sitting there feeling like “what the fuck am I doing here” and the next I’m throwing around “sleep regression” and “baby led weaning” like I know my shit- which I do. 

But enough about me. This is about you and your month. 

This month I watched in amazement as my little baby became a not-so-little baby. I don’t mean in size because you are still the littlest peanut but in skills and independence. 

You are a super mobile baby (as mobile as you can be for someone who is constantly lying down and not yet crawling). You love to move and bounce and squirm across the floor. You roll you grab you pull (my hair says thank you, by the way) and you laugh. A lot. 

That’s perharps my favourite thing about you. You laugh all the time. You laugh when you move and when I say random stuff to you. You seem like a happy person. Plus you make me feel like a world class comedian so, there’s that. 

You are obsessed with the bath (and oddly enough, the bathroom in general). You still love your hairdryer and your pretty into anything that is plastic and able to be gnawed on. 

That’s right Baby, you have teeth coming in. It means that you have something in your mouth ALL the time. Toys, my hand, your hand. And if all else fails you chew your own lip. I’ve seen it. 

You look awesome in green (lucky you, I have been trying to pull off line for my whole life unsuccessfully), the few times you have napped hugging your lovey were the best, you keep trying to sneak- watch tv and I love you more than anything ever. 

Keep growing (but not too fast). 

xo

Mom