January 17, 2016

Dear Baby,

Why is it that we are so quick to focus on the negative things in our life? 

When I was pregnant with you I read this amazing article about how new moms are often unwilling to say that they love motherhood or are having an easy time because it is so unrelatable. Instead they spend their time lamenting sleep or complaining about how life used to be pre-baby. 

And this goes way outside babies. It is jobs (complaining about your boss, co workers or tasks), or about your partner (sex, habits, money) or about your parents (annoying, overbearing, opinionated-  but not your mom, right Baby??)

It is so rare that we indulge in sharing positive things with one another. It is way easier to commiserate about crap and way less “look at me” to undermine your own successes and pleasures. 

I swore to myself I would not be that mom and that I would share the good stuff too but I feel like, in reviewing what I am writing to you, it would seem like I basically am an exhausted and high strung new mom just eking by on minimal sleep. 

I must preface what I am about to say with a poo poo poo. 

Being your mom is wonderful. I don’t talk enough about how magical it is to wake up with you beside me- because I often have you in my bed- and get a smile from you. It is the smile I would have given to a giant cup of coffee before I met you. It is the smile that says “there is nothing in the world I would rather see than what I am seeing right now.” 

I don’t tell you how much I love eating breakfast on the floor with you while I watch you explore your mat and toys and learn how to do new things. 

I don’t tell anyone how hard it is to put you down for naps because I hate not holding you. I also don’t tell anyone how often I don’t put you down and just sit quietly with you for hours in my arms. 

I haven’t said enough that I love our life together. I love our new friends and our mom groups and I even love running errands with you. Everything I do is better when you are there. 

Yes, by the time your dad gets home I am ready to pass you off and take some time to myself but you should know that the second I pass you off, I just want you back. I spend 90% of my free time doing stuff for you or reading about you or watching your dad play with you. 

Bedtime has been a hot topic of this blog but you should know that even though I HATE waking up in the middle of the night always and forever, I would do it for you (begrudgingly). That I love spending time alone with your dad or my friends but saying goodnight to you is always bittersweet because I know our day together is over and that I have to wait until the morning to see that smile again. 

All of this love and time is peppered with the frustrations of being a new mom. The word of sleeplessness and the growing pains that come with any new and big change but in case you are reading this blog and thinking that I am always complaining about you, I’m not. 

I hope that you can take some time in your own life to celebrate your happiness. Sure, bitching about your boss may get more laughs at the lunch table and complaining about baby sleep is more topical than bragging about your baby who sleeps through the night but we should be able to own our life- good and bad.

So please take some time to share the great things about your life with the people who love you- I’ll be waiting to hear all about it. 

xo

Mom