December 15, 2015

Dear Baby,

I hope that you have really nice friends in your life. I cannot tell you enough how important they have been to me in my life. By now, you have probably met a lot of them and I hope that many of them feel just as much like family to you as they do to me.

 

The best thing about having a lot of friends, Baby is that inevitably some will be going through the same things as you at various stages in your life and will be able to just get you.

Yesterday, I was speaking to one of my oldest friend who has a baby older than you and I was trying to tell her how I feel- the roller coaster of emotions I am finding myself on- and she just got it. When I told her that I have moments when I hate you dad, she countered with a story about whacking her husband in the head with a pillow one night when he didn’t swaddle their baby right.

Because, Baby, when you go through anything in life you will NEED people to tell you that they have done it too, it’s ok and offer your support with NO JUDGEMENT. There is nothing that can be more isolating than these monumental events and being a new mom can be so lonely and weird without people to talk to about how weird it is.

Without friends to talk to would I be able to shake off that one time I spilled that precious pumped milk in the sink (worst.ever.)? And how would I deal with the poop explosions, the crazy functions, family nonsense and sleepless nights without someone to laugh it off with. Who would come to my rescue and drop off 3 different kinds of carriers that afternoon when I couldn’t settle you and was pulling out my hair? Who could I call just to go for a walk when I needed company or advice?

Baby, the moral here is an obvious one. Surround yourself with great people and you will always have great people around you. Talk to your friends about stuff- about me even if you have to. Share your life with the people in it who love you and you will be rewarded with respite from loneliness and feelings of “am I the only one who…”

And maybe, just maybe they will be good enough friends to steer you away from those shitty tearaway pants (seriously- I know at least 5 of you who witnessed that part of my life- what the fuck were you thinking????). If not, let’s hope they are wearing them with you.

xo

Mom