August 23, 2017
Today is dad’s birthday and it’s fitting that he gets some rare space for some thoughts and words. In the craziness that is managing 2 kids and then my own rampant emotions, he is the forgotten family member (on this blog, not in real life) but today he is the inevitable star of the show.
If you want to test a relationship, live together. Join your finances and cohabitate. See how you are when someone has stomach flu or when you want to buy an expensive coat but also have rent to pay together. If you really want to test your relationship, have kids together.
Forget trying to come to a consensus about how to raise them because you will never fully agree. Just try making it through the first year. Twice. Try working together harmoniously when no one has slept and there is a small screaming alien in your room. Try communicating effectively when you are hormonal and literally want to kill them. Try being sweet and kind when you stay awake all night cluster feeding on a blistered nipple and your loving partner snores in your face. Try not losing your fucking mind when someone tells the other how to do something (oh, the baby likes when you rock her like this. OH THANKS. NEVER TRIED THAT EINSTEIN).
Try that and you will see how good your relationship is.
Your dad and I are in round 2 of this and while we currently fight more than normal for us, and while I certainly have banished him from the room in moments of frustration, we are constantly working together to be better.
And I should, in fairness say that he works so hard to keep us going. He is tireless in efforts to keep our family happy and keep me happy and he never gets enough credit.
Sometimes I think I might actually just make up shit to be mad about when I am frustrated and he (usually) hears me and even tries to help – despite how insane I might be.
And sure, his need to fix everything can be annoying and majorly overbearing but his intention is always so kind that I have to remind myself how lucky I am to be married to someone who has the capacity for that type of kindness.
So today on his 35th birthday, I take the opportunity to be grateful for a partner that really values partnership.
You guys are so lucky to have a dad that will always work with you to better our family. He will stand by you and help you as he has done with me for the past 10 years and he will always be solution oriented and willing to sacrifice his own comfort for yours. You should both be looking for partners and people in your life that emulate these admirable and rare qualities.
Plus he’s handsome as fuck.
Give your dad a hug today.