August 11, 2017
Yesterday was not my best day. I tried to get a bunch of shit done and mostly failed. Nothing like failing to feel like a failure. Amiright?
Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you need a fucking village of good people to help you out when you are sinking (or to share in the good times when you’re not).
There I was, at the mall after a 24 hour period of some really challenging parenting and interactions with people that seemed to kick me when I was down (unintentionally, but still…) and Baby 2, you would not stop crying. There was nothing I could do right. I fed you, changed you, cuddled you, rocked you. Fail.
I was leaving the mall after camping out in their nursing room defeated when I ran into a friend who asked “how are you”?
Nothing like having to answer that question when you are so not ok to send you down a cycle of events that lead to you bursting into tears in the middle of the mall. Nothing.
And what did she do? Well, to start – she validated me. She didn’t shame me or tell me to buck up or offer any real solutions. She didn’t make it about her or even try to relate. She just listened to me, validated me and then took me to a store where she bought pants that got her through a rough time and encouraged me to grab a pair before walking me to my car and helping me with the baby.
Sure, the pants were an impulse purchase that turned out awful and needed to be returned but the intention was perfect and so much so that on my way home I called another friend and asked her to come over.
After an afternoon with that friend my shit day was erased and I felt supported and free all at the same time.
And whether it’s having a rough day with a baby or a rough day with something else we need our village. No one was ever happier being alone. We need to talk and socialize and commiserate and share.
Crying in public sometimes is inevitable. Doing it alone doesn’t have to be.
(Ps. I’m your fucking village forever, Babies. You can ALWAYS AND FOREVER count on me to be there.)