August 8, 2017

Dear babies,

I'm sitting at the paediatrician watching a mom with 5 kids (who, by the way, has a killer body and is in JEANS!!! I haven't washed my hair in 4 days but ok…) who is sort of casually standing around while her blond brood run around, touch everything and cause a hubub.

We all want to be that mom. Effortlessly cool and seemingly as chilled as a freezer while making he art of mom-ing seem like the most natural thing in the world.

Side note: she is also on her phone and wearing awesome sandals. I'm leaking through my breast pads.

I strive to be chill. I'm my core I'm chill and chill is everything that is important to me but the thing that you learn about kids is that they are not chill. Even chill kids are not chill and not only are they unchill, they are also creatures that thrive on being scheduled. It's a sad sad truth.

Give a kid some predictability and watch them thrive. Give a mom a thriving kid and watch her shower. It's a circle of calm.

So how to blend the push and pull of wanting to be relaxed and then not being able to fully relax?

It's like anything in life, my girls, a little bit of black and a little bit of white to make up this grey world. It's having a bedtime but being open to staying up late when the night calls for it. Not eating shit food but taking some bits (or slices) of cake. Sticking to what works but trying new things and having a routine that can be adjusted when the need arises.

I'm no better, babes. I have a schedule of shit I like to do but you'd better believe that I'll be ditching weekly yoga if a good friend calls for an impromptu lunch I have classes with both of you girls but I'm happy to ditch them if we are not in the mood or want to do something else.

That's the balance between being a crazy overscheduled rigid nut and a somewhat chill parent.

Sure, I'll never be hair done allowing you guys to lick the toys in the doctor's office (because I fucking hate germs and think this place is super gross) but I'll be chill enough to know that I can't be that mom and reasonable enough to know that maybe she's looking at me thinking the same thing (minus being put together and having 5 kids).

Balance. It's chill.

xo
Mom