Mom of the Year

March 28th, 2017

Dear Baby,

So yesterday we went to your 18n month doctors appointment and you were a total champ. Everything was looking good and we had a fun walk back to the car checking out trucks and cars on Yonge. That’s were things went sour.

Put you in the car to go home, buckled you in, gave you your book about trucks and caved when you asked me to play with the keys. How am I supposed to say no to you when you say the word keys so sweetly?? Gave you the keys and went to get in the car when I heard the word noise ever. The sound of the car being locked confirmed by the sound of the horn beeping to verify a locked car. You were inside with the keys, I was outside with no keys and the car was locked.


I tried to reason with you that if you could just push the other button, we could unlock the car and continue on our way but you thought that was REALLY funny and kept pushing the lock button and beeping the car shut. Thanks.

CAA thankfully came in under 10 minutes (which is a testament to why you should probably always have a CAA membership. WELL WORTH IT) and were able to break into my car and unlock it using some kind of crowbar device (PS. it seems super easy to break into someone’s car so also don’t leave your shit in the car. I literally always leave shit in the car so that is a new thing to stop).

Everything was fine and you and I went home unscathed. The end.

It was a truly brutal mom fuck up and I can’t tell you how many scenarios have played out in my mind where things went wrong and we didn’t have a good chuckle about what happened.


  1. Don’t give a baby keys to play with. They could do what you did any day of the week and if it were super hot or cold out or there was something dangerous in the car, you would be sorry you acquiesced to their request for keys (no matter how cute a voice they have.)
  2. Know how to break into a car. Seriously. I’m making it my week’s goal to learn and understand exactly how to smash a window or get into the car if I had to.
  3. Don’t clack on your CAA membership
  4. Try not to beat yourself up too much if you/when you fuck up in ways like I did yesterday. We all have moments where we accidentally lock our kids in the car.

Sorry about that, Baby. It won’t happen again. You are also never holding my keys again. K?



Mom of the Year

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