I know that one of these days you are going to tell us you hate us or think that we hate you (which may momentarily be true) and when you have these thoughts of serious dislike remember this:
You have pooed in the tub twice this month and your dad and I have cleaned it up.
It began with me. Mine was a “should have known better” situation where you had a huge dinner, a huge bottle and then I hurried bath. It was sort of unsurprising to see your little scrunched up face push out that poo a la tub.
I was of course home alone so I had to strategicallly get you out of the tub, clean you up in the sink, drain the tub and then come back and figure out the poo. Thankfully it was minimal and mostly loose. Too much info? Are you gagging? Well at least you didn’t have to experience it in the flesh. K?
Your dad laughed a lot when he heard the story so I laughed a lot when it happened to him- home alone. He was tickling you in the tub and shaking your legs to make you laugh when…. poo.
We as parents do a lot of gross shit. There is a lot of body fluids and a lot of icky ness involved in parenting but there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Although it was pretty gross, even your poo can’t deter me from loving you.
So when you have that haterade for us, think back to time you won’t remember when we did a lot of really nasty shit for you and get over it. There’s a lot of love here and we have both been through a shit storm to prove it.