Things that Happen when you Forget to Feed your Baby

June 7, 2016

Dear Baby,

Yesterday was gorgeous. It was my kind of summer day- cool enough for a light long sleeve, warm enough for a t shirt and breezy enough that you wouldn’t sweat if you were to go on an hour plus walk- which we did. 

The walk was glorious. Flanked by your posse we headed down the belt line and to a park to play. It was only when you were laughing on a swing that the alarms in my mind went off. How long has we been out? What time was it? Did I have any food?

It had been a long time out, it was dinner time (for you) and I had one single packet of shitty mum mums (no offence to mum mums but they just don’t cut it as a meal replacement). It was time to hustle. 

I was duly thanked for being such a shit prepared mom by a serenade of you grumbling at me (you just started to really grumble when your angry which is cute but also scary). 

Total gong show. Thank god your dad was home to witness me hauling you inside and preparing your late dinner for you at the speed of light. I always love when he watches me totally fucking fail at adulting. 

With that, here is a lesson on always being prepared: WHAT TO HAVE IN YOUR BAGS AT ALL TIMES. whether you are a mom, student or professional- you can’t go wrong with being prepared. 

1. Wipes- I never knew how fucking handy wipes were until I had them on me for you. Wipes solve most messes, they can serve as toilet paper, they can blot out stains, wipe noses, wipe dirt whatever. They are fucking godsends and you should buy a little package of them (or a Costco sized bulk package for a baby) and carry them with you at all times. 

2. Kleenex- like wipes only dry. 

3. Protein- no one ever thrived on rice cakes (aka mum mums). A handful of nuts or piece of cheese or a bar will get you through the woods and back home to eat a prope meal in a pinch. 

4. Snacks- different than protein, snacks are a major component to a well rounded bag. Snacks can include; fruit, veggies, bars, crackers… Anything that will help satiate your need to eat. 

5. Hand sanitizer- explanation needed here? Becaus the world is a gross place. 

6. A seasonally appropriate scarf- is there anything a scarf can’t do? It can hide a stain, pose as a top, make you look more put together, keep you warm, keep you shielded from the elements, cover you up if you need to nurse or change or just whip out a tit for no reason. A scarf can be a pillow, a blanket, it can be your fucking confident if you need one. It can wipe shit up, act as a picnic table, act as a snow wipe for your car or function as a blackout blind so your baby can nap. It is the single best accessory out there. Take that, hats (just kidding. I love you hats). 

7. Poo bag (aka plastic bag)- I have a dog and a baby and someone is bound to poo in any given outing. Also good for storing messy shit, wet things, smelly stuff and garbage. 

Extras that you might want to have:

Lipgloss- chapped lips are so last year/ never. 

Tweezers- you can see the most amount of light eyebrow hairs in your car mirror in the sunlight.

Lotion- scaly hands are creepy. 

Pen and paper- nothing wrong with being old fashioned. 

Phone charger- imagine the horror of being left alone with no cell phone (just kidding- interacting with the actual real world might be a nice break, unless you are stranded somewhere in which case having your phone would be essential). 

Compact- oh what? You’re not vain?

Tylenol/ Advil- defence against headaches. 

I also currently always have; sunscreen, a hat for you, a change of clothes for you, socks (I hate being barefoot), head ties, toys, water and a change pad. 

Needless to say, I travel light. 

In the meantime, gotta pack that bag and get going. 



Things that Happen when you Forget to Feed your Baby

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