May 26, 2016

Dear Baby,

I hate to write this, I really do but in the practice of being honest with you always- I have to tell you that my post baby bod is not what I thought it would be. 

In reality, I don’t know what I thought. Maybe that a lifetime of body issues would suddenly vanish AFTER gaining an extra 30 pounds in my mid thirties after carrying a baby??! I know, very likely. 

I just thought that maybe with you around and with my mature attitude (said the girl who laughs at ANY fart joke), it would all be easier. That I would be able to dress myself and just feel great knowing that I am a mom. Spoiler alert: it isn’t. 

The truth is Baby, that I struggle every day with how to teach you about having a super self esteem and confident body image when I can’t seem to get it together. 

I can tell you this: I know that feeling beautiful comes from the inside but it is super hard to access that inside when your outsides look faintly like a chicken mcnugget. Like, what has happened to my ass and thighs, I often wonder. Knowing that there is no cure for cellulite- is this just the way I am going to look now? 

I guess because I still feel (and act) like I am 20, it’s hard to reconcile that I am in fact 34 and my body has gone through a lo of changes in the past 14 years. 

I am usually thankful that I have the best accessory in the whole world to offset. Who is going to even look at me when I am holding delicious you. 

But the lesson is to try hard to not be hard on yourself. It’s something I am always working on (and usually failing at, but never mind that). At the end of the day we are all going to be old and no one is going to care of you had lumpy legs or rock hard abs. I think it goes without saying that it is what you do and who you are that defines you, not your jean size. I hope that you always feel good and happy in your own skin- even when that skin rebels against you. 

In the meantime, time to get dressed (aka best time of the day- not). 

xo

Mom