April 3, 2016

Dear Baby,

Ok Baby, can we just discuss briefly that I am not ok with you growing up. I mean, I’m ok with it but also I want you to be the way you are always. It’s the best. I say that every month. 

Anywho, this weekend we had your first friend’s birthday party to celebrate him being 1. 1. That is just far too old for you. Thank god I have another 5.5 months that is sure to just disappear in two seconds when I next blink. 

A year ago and more, baby birthday parties were what you would invite your dad and I to if you wanted to torture us. Fact. Parties for babies are not fun at all unless you have a baby. Less so when you are unsuccessfully trying to have a baby and just downright terrifying when you are finally pregnant. 

There should be a rule about inviting people without kids to a kid party. Don’t do it. Sure, we would have been bummed at the idea of being excluded but saved from the reality of 2 hours of kid- hell. 

But now is now and we have you and birthday parties are more fun with you there to enjoy them. Gone are the days of sidling into the crowd at the far back and awkwardly lingering while some music person sings ABC. For this round of the alphabet, we were front and center. 

The screaming kids running/ crawling/ sitting around are your peers and any random adult conversation that you would rather not have can easily circumvented by “having to do something” with the baby. Bye Felica. Goodbye awkward encounters. Hello cake. 

What was once my terror is now my ultimate joy. I had raspberry smushed on my pants, a voice hoarse from screaming over the sounds of drums and “All About that Base,” and a heart full of love for you and your tiny little friends. 

Instead of leaving and crying on the car ride home, your dad and I recounted how fucking cute the party was and how much we loved every second of it.

Enough that we are not even sorry to have another one today. 

So here’s the thing: if you hate something a lot and feel like it sucks so bad, try it again in another context and you may find that you feel totally differently. I would have NEVER expected to just kvell over a baby party. Never. Ever. And yet, here I am looking forward to the many more to come. Context. Changes everything. 

Oh, and please don’t force your friends without kids to do kid shit. It’s not nice and you should not have to know the words to fucking Music with Nancy until it is your time. 

In the meantime, everybody clap your hands???

xo

Mom