March 11, 2016

Dear Baby,

Fucking Wonder Weeks. Please be more accurate in telling me when my baby is going to be “fussy.”

So quaint. My baby is just “fussy.” Sure, you screamed so loud I actually thought you were going to barf while you stared at me daring me to try one more comforting tactic but it’s just so “fussy.”

Yes, I am sitting in a chair for 2 hours while you sleep on me because I am genuinely scared to put you in your crib and accidentally rouse you/ unleash the beast. No big deal. I didn’t have anything to do this morning anyways. Who needs a clean house or a sane mom? 

Fussy- ness. 

Predictable. Manageable. Terrible. 

The light at the end of our tunnel is that I know now like never before that this “fussy” behaviour means a change is a coming. 

Round one happened a few weeks ago. In what felt like a split second your cries went from normal baby shit to blood curling, demon- possessed craziness. I was all like, why is our precious little baby losing her shit? How do these sounds even come from such a usually happy and even- keeled person?

It lasted one week and then, like magic you learned how to roll from your back to your front and the crying stopped. 

In its place came a sequence of events that led to you never being able to be left alone on the floor again. 

You rolled to your side and seemed shocked, you rolled to your side tummy and seemed shocked and then you rolled right over and seemed shocked-est. The next day you rolled as of you had had this skill from birth and spent your whole day rolling around the house. By day 3 you were rolling in your sleep and on day four you actively rolled onto your stomach to sleep when I put you down. 

And with that, a mobile baby you became. 

You have been moving and shaking ever since and your dad and I watch in amazement and delight as you navigate your way around your playmat and crib. Your dad woke me up in the middle of the night last week to show me how much you were moving around on the monitor (and then he learned the valuable lesson of “never wake a sleeping mama”).

So when yesterday those exorcist cries stated again I was all like, another change must be coming. 

You have given me some hints as to what the change might be and I can’t wait to find out. 

So Baby, in the meantime I think it’s important to reiterate a lesson that will really be touched on many times in our lives (and this blog), the light at the end of the tunnel. 

There is always one if you look for it and no matter how much you are certain that you are in the worst possible situation (or just listening to the worst possible cries), there will come and end and everything will get better and stronger. 

And if you get trapped in the tunnel, don’t worry. I can assure you that your pipes are loud enough that I will be able to hear you and find you. 

xo

Mom