I’ve got a backache, Baby

February 8, 2016

Dear Baby,

Your lesson comes right out of the gate this morning. Take care of your back. Seriously. Don’t roll your eyes at me when I tell you to sit up straight or suggest that you spend time daily on the foam roller. I rolled my eyes at my mom all the time about it. I live to regret that.

Here I am after 10 years of eye rolling with a back that is totally fucked up and completely amplified by the fact that I have a 10 pound and growing weight attached to my body at all times. 

It hurts to sleep, it hurts to sit and it hurts to bend down and lift you up. I am a 90 year old woman living in a 33 year old body. 

So at the current moment I am giving up night duty to your dad once a week to have someone literally crush my body with their elbows as they attempt to work out the massive knots I have accumulated in my back (let’s not even get into my knees). 

I can think of many many things I would rather do with a night off beginning with anything other than Physiotherapy (no offence to the therapist who is awesome). 

Plus, taking care of your back (and general body) gets harder and harder as you get older. It’s not like I can be like, oh I just don’t feel like doing shit today. There is too much shit to do. I can’t for example, not go shovel the snow around my car this morning but doing so will be another trigger of pain. Can’t not carry you all day (AND WOULD NOT WANT TO) but like I said- 10 pound weight. When I was working on sets its not like I could be like, oh hey y’all this concrete floor is really hard on my legs so can I just grab an hour to rest. 

Look at all the shits that no one gives. 

So Babes, TAKE CARE OF THAT PRECIOUS BACK (and body). If you are going to be rolling, do it on the foam and give those eyes a break. I promise this one time, mama knows best. 

xo

Mom

I’ve got a backache, Baby

It’s the freakin weekend Baby I’m about to have me some fun

February 7, 2016

Dear Baby,

Can I get a toot toot. Can I get a beep beep? Ug. So lame, mom. Who the fuck is R. Kelly?

Whatever, Baby. 

Weekends. Marginally different from weekdays of you are on mat leave since every day is a “wake up at 6am” kind of day when you have a baby. For us, weekends mean that your dad is around (except for ALL OF FUCKING FOOTBALL SEASON- LATER, FOOTBALL. SEE YOU NEXT SEASON- maybe with a better halftime show too- amiright???). 

4 hands are better than 2 and special things happen on the weekend such as mom can go back to bed in the morning for an hour or we can take turns cleaning up your very predictable but gross mid afternoon poop explosion. It’s the little things that make a Saturday, a Saturday.

This weekend in particular was gorgeous (for February) so we took advantage of the way above average temperature and walked to the local farmers market and stopped on the way to visit a friend. This friend is a family of 4 with 2 amazing kids who are 2 and 4 and we walked in on them all in their pyjamas having a long breakfast and building forts. 

When we asked them what they were up to for the rest of the day they surprised us by saying “nothing.” 

They had no plans, no classes, no schedule and no obligations. They explained that they actively chose to have a weekend day together as a family with nothing to do. FUCKING BRILLIANT. 

So we are going to be copy cats and take this idea as our own. 

It means:

No scheduled activity, no programs, no weekly obligations and no set plans for at least one day every weekend. 

Waking up and spending the day as we please. 

Letting you build forts all morning long if you so choose. 

Not having to rush anywhere or be anywhere. 

Doing it all together. 

Of course, there will be parties, family functions and the like but we want to hang out with you in an unstructured way and actually see what you like to do. Love to swim? Let’s all go to the pool! Love the museum? Family trip to the ROM. You get the idea. 

Baby, the world you will grow up in is a really hectic place. Long before I had you I was lamenting about how hard it is to have free time. We are lucky to have so much to do but sometimes the best laid plans were to have none at all. 

Having you makes me want to slow down and take some deep breaths. It makes me want to really savor the moments. Days with you go by really fast and one day I will blink and you will have plans all your own every weekend. You won’t want to show me your cool new pillow fort or hold my hand as we check out dinosaurs.

I know that you are bound to get busy too one day. I hope you have tons of family, friends and interests to keep your schedule full of loving and wonderful things to do. If I could share one piece of advice on this topic it would be to use this weekend-is-rest long before or despite having kids. 

Only in the past while have your dad and I been a bit more scheduled. We have always been huge advocates of having a fun and obligation free day per week to just do whatever the fuck we wanted. I will never look back and wish I had taken more classes or programs. I will only be grateful that I took a lot of walks with my husband and friends, drove a bit out of the way to check out cool markets or trails and spent full days in sweatpants when I wanted to. 

Moving forward I don’t think you will be remiss for not having 600 programs to attend every Saturday morning. I think you too will look back and be glad the weekend learning and experiencing you did came from being together and seeing the world together. 

You can let me know what you think one lazy Saturday morning in the future. 

For now, I’m poring myself another cup of coffee. 

xo

Mom

It’s the freakin weekend Baby I’m about to have me some fun

Just me and you, Baby

February 6, 2016

Dear Baby,

An amazing thing happened recently which is that you started being awake more, more attentive when awake and with longer stretches of time. It’s amazing to see you emerge from a sleeping machine to a real active baby who wants to do things. 

So now I am tasked with thinking of things to do with you. 

Baby, you have a pretty action packed life. We take classes, we go for walks, we run errands, we visit friends and family and we are out and about A LOT. 

Nonetheless, by virtue of the fact that you still nap a lot and need a sufficient amount of downtime, we also do a lot of things alone. 

I have never been one to enjoy being alone. I have always preferred the company of others even if it means sitting together in silence. Being alone has always made me anxious and while I am obviously not alone with you around, you are not yet the exact model of human interaction that I would have previously wanted. 

But if I want you to sleep well (I do) and have restful times (I do) and be able to hang out in your own space (guess what?? I do), then spend alone time with you I must. 

For example, right now you are fast asleep and I am home alone on a Saturday afternoon. I could have run out with you and let you nap on the go, I could have made us plans but the truth is the more I do it, the more I relish in alone time. 

Alone time means I can write a blog. Alone. In pyjamas. It means I could clean the house of I wanted (haha) or spend an hour getting lost in the black hole of the Internet (way more likely). 

I know one day I am going to have to face my strong aversion to doing crowded crap on a Saturday. One day you will want to go to the ROM or the mall or somewhere that’s bound to be overrun with screaming kids and annoying people but for now, you are just as happy in the house as you are out so I don’t HAVE to worry about parking at fucking Yorkdale. 

Baby, the message to share on this wonderful solo Saturday afternoon is that I want you to learn to live time spent with yourself. There is some cheesy magnet style quote that says something like, you spend a lot of time with yourself so make yourself fun to hang with- or something more eloquent. But that’s actually important. 

I rejected being alone for so long for fear that I would be lonely but the truth is that life gets busier and busier and now alone time is the one time I have to myself. You go through life with so much “spare” time that dwindles and dwindles with age and being alone is a great skill to develope when you have the choice of things to do with your time. 

Plus, biasedly, you are awesome so I can only imagine that you would enjoy your own company as much as I enjoy you. 

Yes I will want us to hang out ALL THE TIME FOREVER but once you walk and talk, I’ll bet we will both need time alone (maybe me more than you at first).

xo

Mom

Just me and you, Baby

Baby Bedtime

February 1, 2016

Dear Baby,

The thing about group mentality is that it can really get to you. It’s not as cliche as that whole “of your friends jump off a cliff” stuff but there is something to peer pressure that is real. 

So when my mom friends all told me that they put their babies to bed at 7, I came home and promptly announced to your dad that we too would instill an ETB for you. Previously your VERY loose bedtime was somewhere between 8 and 9pm. We agreed to move your bedtime to 730 as a compromise. 

They say that sleep begets sleep and whoever “they” are- brilliant. So sweet Baby, you went to bed for the first night at 730 and had a better sleep than ever before. It may have been a fluke so like any good experiment, we repeated it the next night and had another success. Third night was an even earlier bedtime of 7 and an even better night and every night since has followed the same trend. 

We all sleep better in this house but most importantly, you get so many extra hours of sleep per week. More sleep is more time for you to grow and I am all for your growth and development. 

The weird side effect is that your dad and I have SO MUCH FREE TIME AT NIGHT. Like, what do we even do with all this time?????

So far, I have crocheted a few headbands, we have spent a lot of time watching Chopped, I have eaten a lot of popcorn and gone to bed every night at 10. It’s pretty rad. 

Baby, I hope you are a strong willed woman. I hope that you have tons of confidence to make independent decisions on your life and I hope that you have friends around you who never pressure you to make shitty decisions. 

That being said, if your friends suggest something to you as harmless as trying an hour earlier bedtime, please try it if it feels right to you. 

When you have great friends and feel good about decisions you make, you may just end up with something amazing (and strange) on your hand like redound dinners with your partner and prime time TV. 

Oh, and thanks for being such a sweet little sleeper. Poo poo poo.

xo

Mom

Baby Bedtime