January 11, 2016

Dear Baby,

When I got pregnant with you one thing I looked forward to was the promise of hormonal triggered beautiful hair. I have always had ok hair- it’s super curly but VERY thin hair so it’s like, there’s a lot of it but not a lot of it. 

Pregnancy gave me the full head of hair that I had dreamed of (and once tried extensions for). Not only was my hair awesome but I lost none of it. None. Not a strand fell out of my head for 9 months. Bliss. 

But none of the expensive shampoos in the world could prevent the 4 month follicle rebellion. Just like that when you turned 16 weeks I began to shed my hair. It came out in literal waves. 

I had splurged on this more-expensive- than-normal-even-for-Aveda shampoo and conditioner (ok fine, also the spray and lotion and misting balm) from there Invati line “guaranteed” to help with losing hair. I Invati them to come come and see my sink after I brush or style or even look the wrong way at my hair.

So I have resorted to some “all natural” methods of keeping the curls I have where they belong. Here are my 5 tips on how to keep your hair. 

Tip 1- don’t brush it: Ok, so you obviously have to brush your hair unless you dream of post partum dreads but I would ease up on the Marsha Brady 100 strokes kind of brushing. I don’t know if this actually helps but you certainly don’t have a tarantula sized clump of hair if you don’t brush it. That or you just don’t see it the same way. Ignorance is bliss, Baby. 

Tip 2- don’t style it: Says the woman who is currently in Florida heat with a head full of frizz. Do I want to put a straightener to this mane? Sure do. Will I inevitably go ahead and damage my already damaged goods? Sure will. Did I do it once? Sure did. Was the bathroom floor covered in hair? I think you are clever enough to answer that one. 

Tip 3- don’t buy stupid shampoos: Instead, buy ones you always wanted. If you are going to have the worst hair of your life, you may as well treat yo’ self to an indulgent shower. Hair loss is way more bearable when it smells good. In that was, the Aveda Invati is ok because I strive to smell as much like Aveda as possible without drinking their hair spray. That shit is delicious. 

Tip 4- don’t look at it: Again, Baby. Ignorance is bliss. 

Tip 5- don’t pull it out: Is it coincidence that my hair loss began right around your fussiest and most insane period to date? 4 month growth spurts are a real thing, Baby and they are way aggressive. But before pulling out your precious remaining hair out in total frustration remember that this too shall pass and one day you will sleep through the night again and I will have back my hair. 

So Baby, don’t stress- it makes your hair fall out- and keep trucking (because when you can wear a truckers hat to cover your crap hair… Get it???)

xo

Mom