November 19, 2015

Dear Baby,

 Before you even became a thought there was just your dad and I and 4 years ago today, we got married. I have spent a lot of time today thinking about how much I love your dad and how that love has changed over the past 4 years and more recently since you joined our family.

Since you came along, we have never fought more. Your dad gets the wrath of me every single time he fucks up (aka. I haven’t slept and just lose it) and he is a hands-on parent so between you and I Baby, he spends a lot of time getting yelled at.

I don’t know that I tell him enough how actually great he is so on this day where we are spending it celebrating our love story I want to let you know what a great guy he is.

Your dad is, first and foremost, totally in love with you. He marvels at your every move and for a guy who “hated holding babies,” he can’t seem to get enough of you. Baby, you are so lucky to get cuddles from him every morning and every night.

One of the most annoying things he does is tell me all these things he “discovers” to do with you. “Try  holding her in this position when she cries,” he will say entering the room with a shit-eating grin on his face after soothing you from a hysterical spell. AS IF I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT- AS IF I HAVENT HAD 5 HYSTERICAL FITS JUST LIKE THIS ONE ALL DAY LONG. I half expect that he thinks he is the parent of the fucking century in these moments and I seethe every time.

The flip side to this Baby, is that he cares so much about you and takes so much pride in caring for you. He gets so much joy from making you happy and telling me all about the little tidbits of his successes with you are his way of sharing this parent experience with me.

Another really annoying thing he does is rant about how hard this is all is for him. It drives me crazy. Like, how hard is it for you really? Do you have to do every single thing all day lone with a person attached to you? Are your nipples bleeding? No? Did your body just go through extreme shock? Do you spend 50 percent of your day with either poo, pee of barf on you? No? Then I would assert that no, this is no as hard for you.

The flip side to this Baby, is that it is hard for him and I am wrong to say that it isn’t. Your dad is super hands-on with you. When I am up in the middle of the night, he is up to check on us. He takes care of the dog that I have neglected, he takes care of dinner, he takes care of our home, and he takes care of our admin. He does all this after a full day of work. When we get ready for bed he brings me up a plate of snacks in case I get hungry in the middle of the night while feeding you. On many occasions, he has taken over soothing you back to sleep when I am frustrated and on many nights, he watches you so I can take a nap or get some work/ writing done.

So, the truth is, Baby, your dad is the bomb. You should know that. You are a lucky baby to be growing up with such a great male figure in your world and I hope you guys always have a special and positive relationship.

One day you too will find love in your life and you and I will commiserate on how annoying our partners can be- but love is always finding the yin and yang to everything so for all the irritating things that your dad does, he does amazing exceptional things to balance it out.

So to your dad, I love you very much and I know that Baby is the luckiest to have you. Sorry for yelling at your at 3am (a few times) and thank you for 4 wonderful years of marriage and helping make and raise our little peanut.

Now Baby, go give your dad a hug.

xo

Mom