May 1, 2016

Dear Baby,

I have a confession that I never thought I would make: I like being home alone every so often. Your dad went to the basketball game tonight and I relished in my time. There was nothing exciting happening. I worked, I read a few articles and I wrote to you so not like I had a crazy ladies night in but still. 

If you had asked me pre- you to stay home alone I would have acquiesced reluctantly and spent the majority of the night being irrationally scared and paranoid but post- you, it’s just not the same. 

Maybe once you’ve heard a baby wail in the night you know that there are few things scarier than said baby waking up and doing said wailing. Hard to be worried that I might see a spider or a centi when I’m trying to make sure you stay soundly asleep. Priorities.

Plus, I spend my day (SO HAPPILY) attached to you. We are together all day, every day and then your dad gets home and he’s there too. We like to spend time together so once you go to bed we usually hang out until our bedtime and then a whole 12 hours has gone by and the only time I have spent alone (maybe) is the bathroom. 

It’s a bit refreshing to do whatever the fuck I want. 

Tonight I had 3 bowls of popcorn for dinner, took a super long shower, did a mud mask and the aforementioned work and reading. I even farted at will. It was spectacular. I’ve been in shitty pyjamas since 7:30 and I give zero fucks. 

Baby, you will be so lucky if you find yourself a family that you love as much as I love you and your dad but no matter what, it is really important to take time for yourself too. 

I really want you to enjoy your own company and be comfortable me happy to be alone sometimes. It is really wonderful to feel fulfilled and content after a night alone and I want you to always have that. 

You are the best and I hope you love your own company as much as I love it. 

In the meantime, your dad is on his way home, we won the basketball game and  it is time to get ready for bed. 

xo

Mom