August 2, 2017
I can't think of worse marriage scenarios than not sharing a bed. When I have heard about friend who don't share beds with their husbands or who even have a different night routine – like watching tv in separate rooms, I cringe. Until now.
Your dad and I have always loved a good queen size bed. We like to close and it always suited our needs. Until now.
Now we have a baby back in the bed with us, we have a toddler who likes to play with our "covies" and come into our bed, and it's 400000 fucking degrees in our bedroom on any given night. Oh ya, and we have a dog who only sleeps soundly in our room. Our once spacious queen bed now feels like a cot. A cot from hell.
This cot makes me an angry person and after a week of nights that resulted in fights and too many conversations, it was time to take some action. Your dad very reluctantly moved his ass to the basement to sleep allowing me and baby some freedom in our room.
The result – everyone is happier and I take back all my judgement about not sharing a bed.
I know this is just a phase and that your dad isn't spending his life sleeping in the basement but you do what you need to do to survive and survival right now teeters on us not fighting every night. And sleeping.
He worries that this will impact our relationship but here's the thing, right now our relationship isn't the forefront of what we need to work on. We need to get to know a new human living with us, we need to keep on moving forward and we need to have some personal sanity.
And when the dust settles, I can't wait to refocus on the us that I know is super resilient and good.
In our new king sized bed.
August 1, 2017
This past month has been insane, to say the least. When I imagined having 2 kids I pictured a blissful family scene with baby strapped casually on my in a hippy wrap and you singing songs in your stroller as we promenaded down the street.
Reality is baby 2 is a fucking maniac who screams bloody murder at any given moment, I am just finally able to walk after a shitty recovery and taking you both out is a rare and often catastrophic occurrence that scares me.
So the point is that I've been absent on all fronts but including this blog. Sorry.
Here's the honest truth about having it all. You can't. You can't be a perfect mom to 2 humans, a good wife, a great daughter, a fun sister or an available friend all at once. Often with no sleep it's hard to even be one of these things.
This is advice that is better given than taken by me but you can't beat yourself up if and when you fail. Not being able to do everything does not make you a loser (in spite of how you might feel like one every 10 seconds of every day).
With that in mind I want to propose a radical idea to you. I had planned to create a fully separate blog for Baby 2 so you didn't have to share but writing 2 blog posts per day is never going to happen. We will be lucky if we can do one per week so can you share?
Can I document you both here now? I mean, you did get a year all to yourself so I don't think it's totally unreasonable to ask. Plus if not for having to pump my boobs 3 times a day to feed your sister I would literally never have time to write, it seems fair to give her some enjoyment from said writing.
Because when you have so many balls in the air this is what you do: you find ways to minimize and make efficiencies. You find ways to juggle with just your own 2 hands and you do the best you can.
So to my 2 babies, I love you. Welcome to Baby 2.