May 27, 2016
And just like that it became ungodly hot outside and we bid farewell to a pretty crap spring season. Summer is here and it is not being shy about sunny days.
It took one such sunny day for you to get the heat rash of the century. Your soft baby skin went from smooth and sweet to full of small bumps and prickly. It would be sad except that you don’t seem to notice.
I think at this point it goes without saying that your dad overreacted and got really anal about checking out the rash and then googling the rash and the obsessing about the rash. You’re probably reading this and thinking yup, that’s dad.
So poor you has a nasty rash and we have spent a day stressing about it while you have been doing your regular baby things like screaming at the floor, eating your toes and banging the baby drum.
But in this there is a lesson and one that you should learn now- stay the fuck out of the sun. Slather your body in the highest spf possible, get yourself a lame sunhat and some serious UV sunglasses. The sun just fucks you up.
Sure, it may seem really cool to have a tan- when I was a teenager I WENT TO TANNING SALONS. There were actual places you could go to subject yourself to the sun rays but the age spots on my face will tell you about the dark side to my tanned body.
Lesson: be it wrinkles or rashes, keep your precious skin out of that sun. Tans may seem sexy but they are not. Rashes less so.
In the meantime got to lather on that SPF 400.