May 11, 2016
Yesterday and this morning I had my very first in person professional meetings since you came around. I’ve had a few phone ones where I sat in pyjamas and I have obviously emailed with you nursing away but to actually get up and put on some profesh- ish clothing and make eye contact with someone who didn’t want to talk about sleep was a new things for me.
It’s funny because I wasn’t nervous about meeting new people. I was only nervous about talking about myself for an hour. What would I have to say? How would I relate to another working adult?
Turns out, everything was fine and I was able to be myself completely with only a spattering of baby related anecdotes.
It was a great thing to do for my self esteem and to be a great mama to you. I am a firm believer that a baby should see their parent be an independent human being. This is not to say that it has to be work related but that you should have some interests and activities that go beyond the baby- which is actually really hard.
But I want you to grow up feeling proud of me and feeling like I am a person that you can respect and look up to. I want you to see what it looks like for a woman to have a great life, a passion and a drive. I want you to see these things so that one day when you find the thing that motivates you, you can dive in head first and feel confident.
I want you to also know that every person has different sides of themselves. I have a side that is your mom, a side that is a wife, a friend and a professional. I have a side that loves to craft and one that loves to read and they are all part of the bigger picture that is me. You will have all these sides to you too- you already do. You have a silly side, a serious side, a sweet side. And they all make you the person you are.
The lesson to teach here is embedded in the story. Be you and embrace the many sides that make you.
Just because things change and you change doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot to offer and say and always be confident that you are a very important person (just as everyone else around you is.)
Self doubt is a natural thing but I encourage you to always be strong and proud to do you.
In the meantime, mama missed you while away and needs some cuddles. I can’t wait for the day when you can do you and say “no cuddles” (that’s sarcasm folks, I can totally wait for that day.)