April 23, 2016

Dear Baby,

Happy Passover. It’s your first foray into the bread-less land of Jewish holidays and I’m pretty pumped to have you at the Seder table (or sleeping in your bucket close by). 

Here’s the thing about the Seder. I love it and I hate it all at once. I love the family gathering, the songs, the food (because why not start every meal with a hard boiled egg in salt water- amiright???). On the flip side, I don’t know if I love the overall messaging or the forced religiousness that I am made to feel. 

Like any religious holiday I am conflicted. 

And more conflicting than ever is how I am going to raise you. What values am I going to bestow upon you and which ones am I going to ignore. How religious should our home be? How much fact vs. fiction am I willing for you to believe and how do you teach someone so small about the difference between tradition, religious, science and fantasy?

When we found out that we were having you, your dad and I had the enviable discussion of “how to raise you” but the answer of “Jewish” seemed enough at the time. Now, we get closer to addressing what that means- how Jewish? What does that even mean to us? How do we feel about religion? 

And herein lies the conflict. Without divulging my preferences and opinions, it is suffice to say that I appreciate tradition without subscribing to all the elements of religion. What does that mean for you?

I hope whatever we do, at this point you feel like you have ample education about religion in general to make your own choices and form your own opinions because no matter what, that is the most important end result.

So Baby, know this: when it comes to the bigger things in life, there is no right answer. Your dad and I will do our best to give you everything you need to form an opinion by we will probably fuck something up along the way. There are no right answers. If there were, we’d all have them. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions and feel conflicting feelings about the deeper questions. That’s all normal. 

And know that ultimately, we love you no matter what you want to be. 

In the meantime, the sacramental wine really helps to keep your focus on the less important questions, like how much kugel is TOO MUCH KUGEL??

#notmadaboutit

xo

Mom